The Pandemic Didn’t Break Me: It Revealed What Was Draining Me

Before the pandemic, I was barely holding it together.

I didn’t know it then.

I thought I was just tired.

But I was drowning.

My job was toxic and draining.

My home life was full of eggshells and emotional landmines.

Family obligations pressed in from all directions.

And my child needed more than I could give, because we were surviving abuse together.

There were no clean lines.

No room to breathe.

No space that belonged to me.

And then, suddenly, everything stopped.

The world shut down.

And while most people spiraled into fear,

I felt something else flickering underneath:

Relief.

Relief that I didn’t have to see them.

Relief that I wasn’t obligated to go there.

Relief that I could stop performing long enough

to finally notice the weight I’d been carrying.

In that quiet, I started asking different questions:

Who drains me?

Who do I keep pouring into when they never pour back?

Who do I actually miss?

Who lets me rest without earning it?

I read a line once:

“Are you depressed? Get rid of the assholes in your life.”

I laughed...

and then I cried.

Because I realized I wasn’t broken.

I was just surrounded.

A Slice of Humble Pie

Sometimes the truth doesn’t show up until everything else disappears.

And sometimes relief is the first sign something was hurting you.

Reflection

When did you first realize you weren’t just exhausted —

you were depleted by the people and obligations around you?

What became clear once the noise faded?

Affirmation

I am not here to serve every demand.

I am allowed to notice what drains me and name what must go.

I do not need a crisis to give myself permission to rest.