He Thought I Summoned the Bees

When my second ex-husband bought one of those electric flyswatters, I knew we were entering a new era of chaos. He was the type who loved killing anything with wings, whether it was flies, mosquitoes, moths, or joy. It was performative. He’d grin while doing it, like he was keeping the world in order with his little bug zapper.

One day, a bee flew onto the porch where we were sitting, and I told him, calmly, not even looking up from what I was doing, that if he kept swinging that thing, the bees would come for him. Not in a metaphysical way. Just… bees. They communicate. They’re organized. They have systems. (Unlike some men.)

He gave me that smirky look. The one that says "you’re being dramatic," right before the universe starts warming up backstage.

I walked inside.

Two minutes later, I watched through the window as the bees came, like he’d personally offended their mother.

They swarmed him. He ran toward the door. I was already there. Watching. Calm.

He made it inside, breathless, wild-eyed. The bees didn’t stop. They slammed into the glass. They wanted him.

And the best part?

He thought I did it.

I don’t mean emotionally, like I “caused it.”

I mean, he thought I summoned the bees.

This man truly believed I had elemental powers and had finally decided to use them. And honestly, I let him think it for a while. Because here’s the truth:

I didn’t conjure the bees.

I just didn’t protect him from the consequences.

For once.

A Slice of Humble Pie

It took me a long time to realize that I didn’t have to stop the natural consequences of someone else’s bad behavior. That I wasn’t morally obligated to absorb the sting for both of us. That not every act of restraint makes you a better person—sometimes it just makes you the target.

Now, I let people deal with their own swarms.

Reflection

Have you ever tried to “protect” someone from the fallout of their own behavior, only to pay the price yourself? What would it look like to step inside *before* the swarm arrives?

Affirmation

I am not responsible for what someone calls punishment when it’s really a consequence.

Thank you for reading. If this stirred something in you and you’d like to spend more time with this work, you can explore The Humble Pie 12 Steps and learn more about how I support people as a trauma recovery coach.