When Joy Made Me the Enemy: Reclaiming My Inner Child

I wasn’t a rebellious child.

I was a joyful one.

Curious. Bright. The kind of kid who laughed with her whole body and wanted to know how everything worked.

My baby book even says it, 'curious', like it was a blessing. Something worth remembering.

But it didn’t stay a blessing for long.

Somewhere along the way, joy became suspicious.

Curiosity became disruptive.

Questions earned sighs, side-eyes, or sharp little comments meant to shrink me.

Excitement was framed as showing off.

Enthusiasm was “too much.”

My energy, my voice, my wonder, all recast as irritation.

I was told to quiet down.

Tone it down.

Stop being so much.

In the systems I grew up in, family, religion, school... joy and curiosity weren’t treated as signs of life.

They were treated as threats.

Disrespect.

Rebellion.

A problem to manage instead of a soul to nurture.

I became a disruption long before I even had a name for myself.

What they never understood is this:

My joy and my curiosity were never flaws.

They were my gifts.

My original language.

The exact traits that helped me survive, dream, create, and rebuild.

The traits that kept me alive inside systems that tried to mute me.

Step 6 is where I reclaim them, not as liabilities, but as compass points.

Not as signs of defiance, but as evidence of spirit.

Not as something to hide, but as something sacred.

Reclaiming my inner child helped me see that joy and curiosity were never dangers; they were the parts of me that knew the way home.

A Slice of Humble Pie

I don’t need permission to be delightful. I won’t shrink just because someone else never learned to grow.

Reflection

What core traits were misunderstood or punished in you as a child?

How did those misinterpretations shape your view of yourself?

Who do you become when you reclaim the parts of you that were never wrong?

Affirmation

My joy and curiosity were never dangerous. They were just louder than the fear around me.