You’re Not Lazy. You’re Tired. And You’re Allowed to Be.

Self-love gets marketed to us as something cute. Bath bombs. Manicures. Motivational quotes in soft pink fonts. But real self-love? It’s grittier than that. Quieter than that. Far more potent than that.

Real self-love is listening to your nervous system. It’s knowing the difference between I can’t and I shouldn’t have to. It’s recognizing that the urge to lie down isn’t always procrastination; sometimes it’s wisdom. You're not lazy, you're tired.

We’ve been trained to override. Push through. Hustle harder. Even in healing spaces, there’s pressure to be productive. To “do the work.” To “feel the pain to heal the pain.” But not all pain is productive. And not all discomfort is trauma.

Sometimes growth doesn’t come from breaking things open. It comes from stretching gently, slowly, from sitting in awkward truths, not unbearable suffering. The magic is in the in-between, where you’re not running, and you’re not collapsing.

You’re just listening.

A Slice of Humble Pie: Self-love isn’t perfection. It’s protection. It’s rest. It’s presence. It’s knowing when to soften instead of push.

Reflection: Where in your life have you mistaken exhaustion for failure? What would it look like to trust that rest is also progress?

Affirmation: Rest is not a flaw. My body deserves peace without explanation.

Thank you for reading. If this stirred something in you and you’d like to spend more time with this work, you can explore The Humble Pie 12 Steps and learn more about how I support people as a trauma recovery coach.