I Wasn’t Just Dressing for Approval. I Was Dressing for Permission: Reclaiming Self-Trust After a Lifetime of Being Edited

There was a time when my clothes weren’t mine. Not really. They were curated for the comfort of others.

“Is that what you’re wearing?”

“That’s a bit much, don’t you think?”

“Why don’t you try something more flattering?”

“This would look better on you if…”

I was being edited. By people who said they loved me. By people who thought I needed guidance. And over time, I started to preempt the shame. I played it safe. I dressed to disappear.

It wasn’t just clothes.

It was food, too... what I ate, how much, how often, and what it supposedly said about me.

“Are you really going to eat that?”

“You don’t like anything normal.”

“No one else is on a special diet.”

“God, you’re so sensitive.”

So I apologized. I performed ease. I swallowed food that made me sick. I wore outfits that made me vanish. Because I didn’t know I was allowed to live without explanation.

Now I do.

Now I eat in a way that respects my body. I wear what feels like me. I move through the world like someone who finally trusts herself to know what fits, not just in fabric, but in energy.

I don’t explain it.

I don’t justify it.

I protect it.

Because every time someone tried to edit me, what they were really saying was:

You’re not allowed to trust your knowing.

And they were wrong.

Reclaiming self-trust has been one of the quietest and most powerful shifts in my healing.

A Slice of Humble Pie:

Control often hides behind care. If someone polices your body, your choices, or your image, it’s not love. It’s control with good PR.

Reflection:

Who taught you to doubt what you like, want, or need?

What part of your daily life still seeks outside approval, and what would it look like to reclaim it?

Affirmation:

I am no longer shaped by shame.

I dress for joy. I eat for peace.

My body is not a group project.

And I do not require permission to trust myself.