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The Humble Pie
Trauma Recovery Coaching That Meets You Where You Are
I’m Jane Davidson, a certified trauma recovery coach and trauma-informed educator based in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I work with adults who were taught to be strong instead of supported,
reasonable instead of real, and grateful instead of honest.
If you have carried too much for too long, The Humble Pie is our place to begin again with honesty, softness, and a nervous system that no longer has to apologize. I offer online trauma recovery coaching and a free 30-minute consult so you can see if working together feels right.
Relationships & Boundaries
Relationships and boundaries aren’t personality traits. They’re nervous system patterns.
This page helps you understand why you connect the way you do, why certain people feel safe (or don’t), and how to build relationships that are rooted in honesty instead of performance.
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Relationships & Boundaries
The Blueprint
Why Your Relationships Make Sense
The way you bond, retreat, overgive, or shut down isn’t random. It’s a nervous system blueprint formed long before you had language.
Seeing the pattern isn’t about blame. It’s about understanding the map you’ve been walking for years
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Nervous System Compatibility
Why Some People Feel Safe, and Others Don’t.
Compatibility has less to do with personality and more to do with regulation. Some people calm your system. Some activate old survival strategies. Learning to trust those signals changes everything.
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When Caregiving Becomes Self-Abandonment
Overgiving Isn’t Love
Sometimes “being helpful” is really fear: fear of losing connection, of disappointing someone, or of being replaced. Overgiving creates resentment, not closeness. Balance makes love feel like love again.
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What a Boundary
Actually Is
Boundaries Aren’t Barriers
A boundary isn’t a wall or a rejection. It’s the simple act of naming where you end, and another person begins. Clear boundaries make relationships warmer, not colder — because nobody has to guess what’s true.
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Repair Over Perfection
Connection Isn’t Lost in Conflict.
It’s Lost in Avoidance
Healthy relationships aren’t conflict-free. They’re repair-full. The willingness to come back, be honest, and make things right is what builds trust. Perfection never creates intimacy — only repair does.
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The Truth About Detachment
Why You Pull Away When You Need People Most
Withdrawal isn’t always a lack of care. Often, it’s a nervous system overwhelmed by closeness. Learning to stay a little longer, breathe a little deeper, and name what’s happening can turn isolation into connection.
→ Let’s go a little deeper
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