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The Humble Pie
Trauma Recovery Coaching That Meets You Where You Are
I’m Jane Davidson, a certified trauma recovery coach and trauma-informed educator based in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I work with adults who were taught to be strong instead of supported,
reasonable instead of real, and grateful instead of honest.
If you have carried too much for too long, The Humble Pie is our place to begin again with honesty, softness, and a nervous system that no longer has to apologize. I offer online trauma recovery coaching and a free 30-minute consult so you can see if working together feels right.
On My Mind


You Don’t Get Away With Anything: You Become What You Practice
Step 11 explores how you become what you practice, and how heaven and hell show up now in your relationships, regrets, and reflection, not in some future judgment.
6 min read


What You Refuse To Own Will Own You: Shadow Work And Projection
Step 4 explores how shadow work and projection shape relationships, family patterns, and parenting, and how owning your shadow stops it from quietly running your life.
7 min read


Every Excuse Is A Well-Dressed Fear: The Fear Of Embarrassment
Underneath almost every excuse I made, there was a simple, raw fear of embarrassment that I did not know how to name.
5 min read


The Real Meaning of Humility | The Humble Pie Philosophy
Explore the real meaning of humility as grounded, human self-accuracy, not self-erasure, and how nervous system healing can transform life from the inside out.
6 min read


12 Steps of Recovery from Alice in Wonderland
What if Alice in Wonderland is not just a children’s story, but a map from moral injury to recovery? This article walks through a 12-step journey using Alice’s adventures to explain how we wake up, grieve, and rebuild life after madness.
7 min read


Recovering from Karenism: A Trauma-Informed Look at Reactivity, Control, and Healing
Let’s talk about Karen.
You know her. We all do. She’s the one losing it in the grocery store, demanding a manager over nothing, calling the cops on kids selling lemonade, spiraling over a mask policy. She’s reactive, entitled, and exhausting to be around.
4 min read


Living Out Loud: What It Really Looks Like After Healing
Explore what it means to live out loud in recovery, moving from quiet inner work to everyday choices that reflect who you are now, without performing your healing.
4 min read


Telling the Truth When You Were Trained To Stay Quiet
By the time people reach this point, they have usually spent a long time: Noticing cracks in their old story Seeing patterns in themselves and others Understanding systems and roles Surviving collapse and relational shifts Beginning to choose themselves on purpose The next tremor often sounds like this: I know what happened now. What do I do with the truth? Telling the truth is not just about words. It is about allowing reality to exist without shrinking it to protect other
5 min read


Choosing Ourselves (Without Becoming the Villain): What It Really Means in Recovery
Explore what it really means to start choosing ourselves in recovery, why it feels so uncomfortable at first, and how to do it without abandoning your values.
4 min read


Repair Without Erasure: How To Be Accountable Without Self Annihilation
Learn what it means to repair without erasure, take responsibility for harm, and stay human in the process, without collapsing into shame or rewriting the past.
4 min read


The Cost of Shrinking: What Happens When You Make Yourself Small
Explore the cost of shrinking yourself to keep the peace, why this pattern once kept you safe, and how awareness can help you stop disappearing from your own life.
3 min read


How Systems Shape Behavior (Without Excusing Harm)
How families, cultures, and institutions shape behavior, and why understanding systems supports accountability without denial or self-erasure.
3 min read


Why Relationships Feel Harder After Awakening
Why relationships often feel more complicated after awareness grows, and how misalignment, grief, and sensitivity are normal parts of waking up.
2 min read


Why Nervous System Collapse Is Not the Same as Giving Up
Collapse after awareness is often mistaken for failure. In reality, it is a protective nervous system response that allows integration and recovery.
2 min read


Learned Patterns You Didn’t Choose (and Why Shame Shows Up)
When people begin to notice patterns in their behavior, relationships, or reactions, shame often follows quickly.
They see themselves repeating things they no longer agree with. They recognize roles they didn’t consciously choose. They wonder how they could have been so unaware for so long.
3 min read


Why Awareness Can Dysregulate the Nervous System
Many people expect that gaining awareness will bring clarity, relief, or empowerment.
Instead, they feel more anxious, more tired, more sensitive, or more withdrawn than before. Old coping strategies stop working. Emotions surface without clear reasons. The body seems to lag behind what the mind now understands.
3 min read


Moral Injury: When Your Conscience Wakes Up Before Your Life Does
Moral injury describes the quiet disorientation that can follow new awareness — when values wake up faster than the nervous system can integrate.
4 min read
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