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The Humble Pie
Trauma Recovery Coaching That Meets You Where You Are
I’m Jane Davidson, a certified trauma recovery coach and trauma-informed educator based in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I work with adults who were taught to be strong instead of supported,
reasonable instead of real, and grateful instead of honest.
If you have carried too much for too long, The Humble Pie is our place to begin again with honesty, softness, and a nervous system that no longer has to apologize. I offer online trauma recovery coaching and a free 30-minute consult so you can see if working together feels right.
Divorce and the Nervous System
Divorce doesn’t just end a relationship. It reshapes your nervous system. The shock, shame, loneliness, and confusion you feel aren’t character flaws; they’re biological responses to loss and abandonment. This space is a gentle landing place to understand what your body has been carrying, why it reacts the way it does, and how healing becomes possible when you finally stop fighting alone.
Divorce and the Nervous System
Why Divorce Feels Like a Nervous System Collapse
A Trauma-Informed Perspective
Divorce can feel like a collapse because your nervous system has lost the structure it adapted itself around. Even if the relationship was painful, it was familiar.
The shutdowns, the sensitivity, the vigilance...
None of it means you’re damaged.
It’s what a body does when it’s finally allowed to stop bracing.
→ Let’s go a little deeper
When You Realize
You Were the Only One Fighting for the Marriage
Healing After Divorce
You may understand your past logically and still feel stunned by the moment you realize you were
carrying the entire marriage alone.
That recognition isn’t a weakness. It’s clarity.
Your nervous system is finally
allowed to stop over-functioning,
and in that stillness, the truth comes into focus:
You were never hard to love.
You were just doing the work of two people.
→ Let’s go a little deeper
The Shame Women Carry After Divorce
A Nervous System Perspective
A quiet truth settles in once your
nervous system finally stops over-functioning:
you weren’t fighting for a relationship,
you were fighting for the version
of someone who never fully showed up.
Explore the shame women carry after divorce,
why silence from family and friends hurts
more than the breakup itself, and how clarity
becomes the first real step toward freedom.
→ Let’s go a little deeper
The Loneliness After Divorce
No One Talks About
Emotional Recovery & Healing
Patterns that once protected you don’t always realize the relationship is over. Your nervous system can stay loyal to old strategies long after the danger has passed,
leaving you wondering why you feel
so alone in a life that’s supposed to be “better.”
This loneliness isn’t a flaw.
It’s your body slowly learning it no longer has to survive.
→ Let’s go a little deeper
The Moment You Realize You Were Arguing With a Fantasy
Not a Person, a Fantasy
When you finally stop over-functioning,
the truth becomes impossible to ignore:
You weren’t arguing with a partner.
You were arguing with the version
of them you hoped existed.
That moment of clarity isn’t a failure.
It’s the beginning of your freedom.
→ Let’s go a little deeper
The Nervous System
Shock of Divorce
Why You Miss the Routine, Not the Person
Divorce doesn’t just break a marriage. It disrupts the rhythms your body learned to depend on
even the ones that weren’t good for you.
This reflection explores why it’s the routine
you miss more than the person, how your nervous system interprets that loss as danger, and why the quiet that follows can feel both terrifying
and healing at the same time.
→ Let’s go a little deeper
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